Rotten Desire
It feels so wrong for a thing so ugly
To desire something so beautiful.
As if a thousand sins are committed
By my hand, as it prays to be held
By any but the hand it's been dealt.
Obsessively, I watch lovers kiss on the screen.
Obsessively, I read about what it must be like.
It feels perverse and it's sickening,
But the craving stays thickening.
I'm terrified I'll never know the touch
Of another hand caressing my face,
Of a smile pressing upon my lips.
And the fear itself is inherently shameful,
For loving me must be a deed most painful.
Yet still, I dream of eyes with affection
So vicious and relentless. Of hands shaking
With unbridled desire. Of a whispered confession
To bring my entire life's beliefs into question.
And maybe the promise of grief
Is the bullet I'm dodging. Still, I'd rather
Take that bullet square in the chest,
Than to live another day with it horribly hollow.
Because the grief of hope is everything but shallow.
How unfair to just let this heart
Keep wanting so much and so deeply,
When it isn't destined for even a measly drop.
Lord, if not my heart, at least let this rotten desire stop.
Tried my hand at poetry after months of not writing! I’m pretty rusty but I like this one. #YearnersStayYearning #AmIRight
"As if a thousand sins are committed
By my hand, as it prays to be held
By any but the hand it's been dealt."😭😭 oh this so beautiful
captured the feeling perfectly, this is everything i've been wanting to put into words as of late